If only everything could stay in its rightful proportions, the world would be an easier place! This means that everyone does their part, no one makes it all about them, and people are mindful of how their energy impacts the group. For those of us with the Harmony Strength, this means: “Please leave the ego and the drama at home. I don’t want to have to call anyone out for being a jerk.”
People with Harmony strive to keep things even-keeled – not too much of this and definitely not too much of that. Even when we aren’t fully confident in using it, Harmony is a powerful Relationship Building Strength that is great at finding common ground and uniting people towards a goal.
As someone with Harmony, I have a drive to build consensus and make sure everyone’s voice is heard. I just want everyone to be happy, and that’s hard to do – especially when I have to factor in my own happiness! I often worry about upsetting people if I say what I really think, so I often find myself biting my tongue and avoiding speaking my truth. I am getting better for sure, but I recognize that my natural tendency towards people-pleasing is rooted in my Harmony Strength.
One thing that’s been helpful for me to remember is that the key to having long-term harmony is to make sure that I’m happy too. This means I’m checking in with myself about what I need and want – at work, in relationships, and with myself. I’ve learned that I actually require a lot of alone time in order to be able to hear my own voice about my needs! Knowing that I need alone time has helped me put boundaries around my work life, as well as boundaries around time spent “people-ing.” I am learning that there’s usually a tradeoff between maintaining peace with others and investing in my own long-term peace, which means taking some space for myself. It’s definitely worth it!
Harmony is happiest when everybody in the environment is operating at their best. This may mean a workplace that actively encourages self care and work-life balance. For me, I feel at peace when I see my co-workers and supervisors taking breaks during the day, and actually use their leave time – REGULARLY! This shows me that they have a rhythm of rest and work – that they don’t push themselves to a breaking point before finally taking a break. It gives me permission to do the same, and that sings to my Harmony Strength!
Additionally, places with low drama are really important for us. Once we’ve gained maturity and confidence in using our Harmony Strength, we may actually enjoy projects that focus on balance, consensus, and finding common ground. This might mean bringing different people or groups together to talk about shared values, or it could be about restoring balance to an individual, a family, a community, or a larger environment. Even though I’m not totally there yet, I know every time I choose to move through (rather than avoid) the discomfort of tension, my Harmony Strength is getting even stronger.
At the first whiff of disagreement, my body tightens up – even if I’m not directly involved! For example: let’s say my pool team captain is having a heated discussion with another captain because they can’t agree on the rules? Count me out. Or – my close friend says something I’m not sure I agree with? In the moment, I’d rather keep my mouth shut for the sake of keeping the peace, even though I know I’ll be thinking about this conversation and our disagreement for the next week… or month… or year. (Yes, I can be upset about it for a long time!)
People with Harmony want to be able to focus on the work and not have drama and agendas be a detractor to getting work done. Often, I find myself prickling in a meeting when someone abruptly or rudely asks a question. That energy really throws me off, and I am keenly aware of when it throws off the rest of the group too. A poorly-worded comment or snide tone really rattles me, especially when people were seemingly in agreement before then. It leads to more mental work for me, because I have to think through restoring balance to the group PLUS how to address the actual concern! Why can’t everyone just get along?
Harmony can bring a uniting energy to any group. When you have a lot of people on a team whose opinions and approaches are different, you can count on someone with Harmony to listen, moderate, and vocalize what everyone has in common.
Need someone who can build consensus and maintain calm and steady energy? Call someone with Harmony!
By Guest Blogger, Anna S.
Interested in learning more about how to put Strengths to work for yourself or your team?